The Sun and blustery wind called me outside today to practice Tai Qi. Going out felt like an act of faith, pulling me to settle within. Out I went, even if the going took a bit of a push and pull to coral the various threads of me into a form of meditation-in-motion. I went, intending to coral all of me to root, to breathe, stretch through my crown to connect to heaven, and to offer my attention to the Dan tien*; and it was so worth the gentling it requires and then offers: The rooting, the standing tall, the sinking, the rising. Just like a tree. Just like life.

And it is always worth it. Rising, sinking, standing tall, listening within, just like a tree. The longer the time since the practice, the greater the experience of the beautiful but unsettling moment and mix of grace and surrender within.

I think the trees recognize my practice and often respond. Today, they seemed to offer me compassion during this act of surrender to the unknown, with a release of their very own leaves from their already mostly bared limbs. The leaves floated and fluttered gracefully through the air. So free, so light, so abundant. A reminder and contrast to the combustion within, as I released too.

Me: root, transfer weight, move left, right, rotate, then left again. Tears rise to my eyes as I rediscover nuances in the patterns of movement that have no words, these places where one can release into and through these tensions that have unknown source, these sublime bindings that I offer up to release. Throughout the practice My focus is loosely translated as "sinking." Sinking deep into the roots sent through the "bubbling spring" on the bottom of my foot, and down into this precious and abundant earth.

So, I sink, and then sink some more.
I sink and then, I notice.

I notice the strangeness. The feelings, the freedom, the grace.

If I were to condense all my work into one sentence, (probably folly to try, so please forgive the simplification, here goes the train....) it would be this:

All discomfort stems from the inability to stand, AND to relax, (think sink,) into the very side in which resides one's heart. The left side. (no politics intended)
Well, usually it is the left. There are, in actuality, a few individuals who have the heart on the right side.
No matter, same principle.

For all of us, most, if not all discomfort, translates from this internal tension.

The implications of this generalization astound me at work and play ~ I am in awe at the courage anyone shows to admit that something hurts. And then to admit the possibility there may be a solution which inherently implies an imperfection in the current path. It takes courage to release this path, and then faith and courage to try a new one, and in the process, to surrender to change.

To allow for the possibility of a solution is grace itself. At least, it seems to me that it is pure Grace that brings us to the brink of whatever cliff we fear and then helps us jump. Jump, Cry, and laugh at the folly of life. It takes courage to accept the possibility of imperfection, then grace to see the new path.

And here is one more miracle I shall share~ it feels like miraculous grace to discover the sublime mix of folly is also the beauty that makes us whole. Within you lies the key, there the spark of the possible can create anew.

"Twas Grace that made me first to fear, and Grace that made my fears relieved."

I am in awe how this experience occurs within, like an Explosion. The explosion of grace moving through all obstacles and like a waterfall of love moving one to one's heart. But before any of this change, there is grace and surrender.

I almost titled this blog ‘on being,’ to describe the human condition of imperfection and the grace in finding it perfect. Of bringing the extraordinary to the ordinary.

So, how to relax into my left? How do I lean into my heart? How to find the path anew, and release the baggage found within?
Today, leaning left, I listen. Wait and wonder at the texture of a new path.

After listening, Quiet, quiet come the words of my heart, of trust:

“It is okay, Welcome home."

Lean into your heart. Stay. Breathe. Ask.
Ask what your one tender heart would say to you, today. Ask to be let in to the deep chambers of secrets

I lean left some more. and listen again

For you and all, and the gift of Grace, I am grateful, 🙏🏼 So much love to you

~*~
*The Dan tien is a point below your belly button that is translated as "elixir field", "sea of qi."